Disconnected01: A story about suffering. Main Character: Kevin - 18 years old, Male. Status: Suffering. WARNING: Contents of this story may be triggering to people with Depression and/or people who have dealt with trauma, viewers discretion is advised. :: Scroll Down To Begin Reading :: You'd figure that love would last forever when you were younger, like how the sun would always rise or how the smell of clean air would never leave. I'd be fooled if you were to say that these things would end, but eventually it did when the light flashed over the entire world. I was always the type to look past these things because I was always beside my friend, but when the lights turned on- things changed. Now you spend most of your time online, secluded in your room next to the warm air coming from the vents. You always connect to the hub of everything human, Its nice there because you get to chat with friends, connect with others, and even get to play online games together. But it doesn't feel as real as reality, guess thats why its called virtual reality; haha.. - You login and open up your messages, your close friend is online so you two begin to chat: +++++++ "You were always the one to think in overdramaticized crazy talk, Kevin. I always like that about you, you always look at things differently." "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I was always into reading those cheesy stories when I was in school." "Ahh, school.. those were byfar the worst days imaginable! Thank god things have changed, yeah??" "Things have changed, but atleast we've got each other..!" "..." "... Right, Sarah..?" "Yeah, yeah..! We've got each others back-.. as always!" { you know this is a lie, but it makes you feel better. } ++++++++ About 2 hours have past and you're still chatting about mundane stuff like: pop culture, fashion, and whatever weird music you two find online. Its an enjoyable time, and you wish this can go on forever and ever, But you know this can never work out ever. Sarah isn't yours to love, and you know that she doesn't feel the same towards you either, those feelings died years ago because of what you did. You've always hated how these days end because it continuesly feels like sharp deep stab to the chest during the last minutes of your chats, but you're doing this to yourself because you feel guilt and regret for the things you've done in the past. You miss when it was just the two of you and your friends all gathered around listening to music on the speakers, when you two were cuddling close together during the worst of nights, and when you had each others backs in the worst of situations. It reminds you of your young loving self, always eager to learn more of what love really is and your future together as a couple. But those fantasies were never going to come true. That's not how reality works... Everything cannot be predictied by the loose promises made by two young teenagers. ++++++++ "I have to go soon, Kevin. My boyfriend is coming over soon and I need to freshen up my room and myself, you wouldn't believe the amount of dust that gets in here haha!" "Oh yeah, no thats cool! Honestly its my bad for keeping you busy this long, I should've guess you two were getting more serious.. :)" "Yeah, hah.. Things are really looking up for me and him! We're soon planning on moving into our own place, crazy huh!?" "..." "... oh yeah, that sounds awesome Sarah! Im basically almost out of my moms place too, just need to save up some more cash before I do something like that..!" "Sweet! I hope your jobs paying well, housing is a bitch to pay for now LOL" "Say, are you going to that virtual festival next sunday??" "the JLZ fest?! OFC im going LOL they always tear those events up with their music!!" "Great! me and my bf are gonna go too, we might see you there if its not so packed x3" "..." "ANYWAYS, I've gotta go Kevin. Its been nice!" "Oh yeah, Sarah I was meant to ask you-. Oh, you're gone already-.. well maybe next time." { She has blocked you from messaging her, this isn't anything new. But atleast you can switch to your alt account and check up on her from time to time. } ----------- You lied down later that day and shut out all the lights so you could recollect yourself, this is normal. But those voices inside your head begin to speak up, and they are telling you the cold hard truth. You try to cover your ears but they only become louder, You begin to feel sick before you collapse to the floor like last time. You need to move on, she wants you to just move on and stop pestering her with your fake act because its making her sad. You know she's fed up with you, but you don't want to face the real truth yet, you're hurting her. You need to move on and grow up, you need to become something for yourself, anything but spmething that involves her at all. But you know its pointless, you know you're already to far gone mentally. Its because of all of this chatting, the stalking, the waiting, all of this has become a bigger problem and its been feeding off your own selfishness and self loathing you haven't let go of yet. But why would you grant yourself freedom from the pain when you don't deserve happiness? You begin to wonder if you're even alive because you've began to notice small details that have been odd. The clock hasn't been ticking for days now, the vents haven't been working properly, you cannot remember the last time you actually looked at yourself with any slight implication of acceptance or self love. You've probably been rotting in your room again, haven't you? You don't love yourself, why should you? You're a coward for being terrified of the idea ofmoving on because it puts you in an unknown vunerable sitation, you don't want to get hurt again. You keep pushing away old friends away because you don't trust them. Why do you blame them for what happened, Kevin? You know it wasn't anyones fault but your own. It was all your fault that the incident happened and you broke her heart. Do you still think things will get better, or have you accepted your own entitled fate? You know your days are limited, but you don't want to do anything about it. Why would you save yourself knowing you're not worth the effort? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Kevin isn't okay, Kevin isn't safe, Kevin is rotting inside his own mind. Kevin is struggling to breathe because of the tight grip their own mind has on them, but they're beginning to accept it. Can you feel it yet, Kevin? Are you afraid yet, Kevin? You know you want to die, Kevin. Nobody is coming to save you, Kevin. --------------------------- END OF CHAPTER ONE.